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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.- Arthur McAuliff
The answer to the universe, life, the universe and everything is, is 42- Deep Thought
Let's not pick pepper out of horse poop.- Mr. Kleinrath
Read your own compositions, and when you meet with a passage which you think is particlarly fine, strike it out.- James Boswell: Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791
They laughed at Newton, they laughed at Einstein, but they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.- Carl Sagan
Let's not beat a dead horse- Mr. Kleinrath
...and then you sit in a dark corner doing integrals for the rest of your life- Mr. Kelly
The true mathematician, with a mistress and a wife, tells one he is with the other, but is really in his office doing math- Mr. Kelly
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.- Dave Barry
I read somewhere that 77 percent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.- Emo Philips
There are three kinds of men: The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them, who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.- The Wisdom of Will Rogers
Pantera is my boy band- Josh Cadwell
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.- Albert Einstein
Okay, I'm wierd. But I'm saving up to be eccentric.- from a Ginger Meggs comic strip
There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.- Douglas Adams: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.- Douglas Adams: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Ryan, everything gives you gas.- David Rodriguez
Would you like a small, regular, or Ryandoesn'twearunderwear?- Mike Rodriguez
If peeing your pants is cool, then you can call me Miles Davis- Farm Tour Guide in Billy Madison
Well, the game is afoot... I'll take Anal Bum Cover for 7000.-
Sean Connery: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy
Yeah, well, why don't you give me, uh... [*clear throat*] why don't you give me Ape Tit for 200-
Burt Reynolds: SNL Celebrity Jeopardy
I've got school spirit... in my pants!- Dustyn Miller
Ohhh, now you've done it... Now you've fudged the bucket and told me too many words to know.- Group X
I guess being the most physically fit computer user is on par with being the world's tallest midget.- Lance of Angst Technology
Saying that video games teach people how to kill is like saying dance dance revolution teaches people how to dance.- AIM: DeliriusGuy
Stop touching me! If you want to touch me, touch yourself instead!- Cassie
Gabriel briefly discussed the Buddy System on Monday, and the rules for this system are uncomplicated. There are but three tenets: •Stay With Your Buddy •No, Seriously - Stay With Him, Otherwise, What's The Point and •Don't Poke Your Buddy In The Eye.- Tycho of Penny Arcade
Let's rehabilitate Phil... in the face!- Captain Murphy (Sealab 2021)
Humans are not very good at picking random numbers. In picking a number from 1 to 10, if a person picks 3, 9 out of 10 times the person won't pick 3 when you ask him to pick again.- Prof. Joseph Pistone
Well, wouldn't you want your girlfriend to have a pair of coconuts?- Andra
Oh yeah? Well you spell Ryan 'Poo ooh ooh'!- Jana
Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.- Rex in Napoleon Dynamite
Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo Inc, 1989